I’ll be honest, I’ve been feeling mentally drained lately. It’s been several factors that have been leading me to feel low in mental energy. The main reason is seeing the world as it is right now. It’s both depressing and inspiring watching the current events unfold. Honestly, when did 2020 become a fucking movie with thirty different twists every ten minutes?
It’s amazing to see people rally together to bring about social change within our culture, specifically with the Black Lives Matter protests. Being able to be there with the crowds was inspiring too and very new for me. It was also great to see the government actually listening and doing something about plights that people have been dealing with. 2020 will be written up as one of the most influential and powerful years in human history, you can count on that. Despite all this, I can’t help but still feel sad about everything else going on in the world. Covid is still a thing, and it’ll be a long while before society fully re-opens again. My city has made slow progress in returning back to normal, but there’s still ways to go. And I’m not even going to get started on the current presidential election and the two candidates we have to choose from…lord help us all on that one.
In my personal life. Work has been up and down, at the moment I’m use to working on a covid unit now. Every patient is almost the same. Things can drag, but hey; at least we got hazard pay. But it’s been really dawning on me lately just how much healthcare and being a nurse isn’t meant for me. If I could go back in time I’d probably slap freshman year college me in the face and tell myself to follow my dreams ahead of time. As for my clothing brand that I’ve been setting up, things are stressful. I just realized the importance of trademarking a company, and went through a shit ton of work to pay for an application for it to be trademark. I was resisting the urge to slam my head on the table through the whole process of learning how to do it. On the bright side, I’ve got some great pictures with the clothes with my amazing friends who have been supporting me, and I’ll be marketing the brand soon to the public. But I can’t help but get pangs of anxiety with thinking about the actual release of the clothes. What if I mess up with shipping and handling? What if people don’t like my clothes? What if I’m not successful? Honestly, fuck that noise. I realize I need to keep my head up and believe in myself. Anxiety about doing something new and daring can be scary. But I know I won’t give up.
With all these things adding together, you could say I’ve been feeling stressed. And I know I needed a break. And in my opinion, the two best ways to relieve stress are nature and cardio. I got some of my close friends together to go hiking in Devil’s Lake State Park in Wisconsin. We had a fun road trip to the park, only to find that everyone else had the same idea to visit the place that Saturday and there was zero parking inside. So we found the closest available parking…a whole fucking mile and a half from the state park. Oh well, we walking from the car to the start of the trail. It was a long and steep trail that lead to an overview of the entire park and the lake.
Getting to the top was one hell of a struggle. It was steep, it was hot, it was humid, and it went on for what seemed forever. But fuck it, I wanted to get to the top more than anything. We all pushed ourselves and eventually reached the peak of the mountain. I was exhausted and drenched in sweat, but man was it worth it. The peak of the trail involved several rock formations that stretched out towards the lake. You could actually stand on them and see everything from below. Holy shit, it was one hell of an amazing view. You could see the whole landscape for miles. And the forest along with the lake was a sight to behold. Me and my friends stayed at the top for a while, just taking it all in. I thought to myself, “This is what life is all about, enjoying it and appreciating the world around you, and if you could conquer this trail, you can conquer anything”. I took a deep breath of fresh air. And felt revitalized.
The next day, I decided to take my bike to the trails near my hometown. I wanted to push myself, it wasn’t just a casual ride, but a competition to myself to see how good my endurance really is. I biked in the evening and kept biking until it got dark. While I was cycling I also took a little time to enjoy the nature around me and the beauty of the colors of the sky during the sunset. I hit close to 18 miles by the end of my ride, but I made sure that I was staying at a relatively fast pace the entire time. I felt exhausted. But at the same time I felt my stress literally dissipating. I had this renewed sense of peace. The problems going on in the world were still there, but I accepted them and felt optimistic about the future. The problems in my personal life were still there, but I was ready to tackle them head on.
All in all, if you’re feeling stressed. Get the fuck out there and enjoy the world. And get a workout in there while you’re at it.